Slices of Life, Vol. 19

Me: "Nick, what do you want for lunch?"

Nicholas: "Marshmallows."

Me: "Well, that's not an acceptable lunch food. Let me be more specific: What kind of SANDWICH do you want for lunch?"

Nicholas: "An ice cream sandwich."

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Nathaniel: "Are we going to get a new crib?"

Me: "Nope, I think we'll move Nicholas into your room with you and the baby will sleep in the crib by itself."

Nathaniel: "Can Nicholas still sleep in his crib and we'll just put the baby in there sideways?"

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Nathaniel: "In April, am I finally going to be a mommy or a daddy?"

Me: "Um, no. But you WILL be a big brother."

Nathaniel: "AGAIN?? But I really want to be a mommy or a daddy!"

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This speaks volumes about our boys' personalities, but will only make sense to those of you who have some knowledge of "Star Wars":

Nathaniel: "When I grow up, I want to be a Jedi."

Nicholas: "When I grow up, I want to be Darth Maul."

Nathaniel: "Well, when I grow up, I also want to be Luke."

Nicholas: "I want to be DARTH VADER."

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While watching "Power Rangers" the other night with the boys, I commented on a scene:

Me: "Well, THAT didn't make sense."

Nathaniel: "Mommy, what does 'make sense' mean?"

Me: "It's not logical."

Nathaniel: "What does 'logical' mean?"

Me: "It means something doesn't make sense."

Nathaniel: "You already used that one. Try again."

Me: "Well, what I THOUGHT was going to happen didn't happen, and instead, something totally different and unlikely happened."

Nathaniel: "OK, thanks. I got it now."

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More evidence (as if I needed any) that Nathaniel is a little sponge that soaks up everything I say for future use ... We were playing outside the other day, and it was about 85 degrees. I'd taken a bottle of Gatorade for each of the boys, since they play so hard and always sweat a lot:

Nathaniel: "Boy, is it HOT out here today! Mommy, I think I need some Gatorade."

Me: "OK, here you go. Nick, do you want yours?"

Nicholas: "No."

Nathaniel: "Nick-a-liss, it is Very Hot out here and we are Very Sweaty. When it's this hot, it's important that we REHYDRATE. Drink your Gatorade."

Nicholas: "OK, I am ready to rehydwate now."

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At the end of October, we went to the Fall Festival at school. One of the newer teachers was manning the "Go Fishing" booth, where Nathaniel spent most of his time. When he came back to show me his prizes:

Me: "Nathaniel, what is the teacher's name who was at the fishing booth?"

Nathaniel: "Well, ALL of the teachers' first names is 'Miss,' which can be confusing. Like, Miss Anna, Miss Raquel, Miss Cheryl ... but THAT one is Miss Cheen."

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While trick-or-treating, a Jack Russell Terrier in a red lobster costume greeted the boys enthusiastically at the door of a home. Nicholas didn't even know it was a dog ... the lobster tail was wagging madly the whole time, and the dog's whole head was covered in lobster pincers. While walking away from the door:

Nicholas: [perplexed] "Why did that red thing lick my penis?"

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Also while trick-or-treating, after about 30 minutes in his Darth Vader costume:

Nathaniel: "Do you think Darth Vader gets itchy in this? Because it is ITCHY."
















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To see past Slices of Life, click here.