Slices of Life, Vol. 11

Nicholas is singing his ABCs from beginning to end. He also counts to 20 with a few gaps.

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In the car talking about a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese that we were to attend a few days later:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, I want to play the video game with guns at Joshie's party. Do you want to play it with me?"

Me: "No, Little Buddy. I don't like guns."

Nathaniel: "But they aren't REAL guns, Mommy. Guns in video games can't hurt you because they aren't REAL. Only REAL guns can hurt you or the bad guys."

Grayson to me in a low voice: "That's phenomenal that he differentiates between real and fake things at 3 years old. He's so advanced."

Me: "Nathaniel, is Barney real or make-believe?"

Nathaniel: "BARNEY IS REAL."

** In his defense, as Grayson was quick to point out, we SAW Barney "in real life" at the Barney show at the Civic Center.

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Driving to school the day before Nicholas' birthday:

Me: "Nick-Nick, you will be 2 years old tomorrow. I can't believe it!"

Nicholas: "No Way!"

Nathaniel: "Mommy, is Nick-a-liss still going to hit when he's 2?"

Me: "Probably."

Nathaniel: "Nick-a-liss, are you still going to hit when you're 2?"

Nicholas: "YES."

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When using the phrases your parents used on you that you swore you'd never use on your own children comes back to haunt you:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, where's Daddy?"

Me: "He's still at work. He'll be home before you go to Sleepytown, but probably not before 8:00."

[RARE 20-second pause during which we listened to the radio]

Nathaniel: "Mommy, where's Daddy?"

Me: "What did I just say?"

Nathaniel: "Oh, yeah. That he's at work."

["Life is a Highway," the theme song from the movie "Cars," comes on the radio.]

Nathaniel: [Blood-curdling scream] "MOMMY, IT'S THE SONG FROM 'CARS'!"

Me: "Nathaniel, that was too loud! Please use indoor voice when we're in the car. You scared me."

Nathaniel: "But I LOVE to scream. It is GREAT."

[I change the radio station and hit another station playing "Life is a Highway."]

Nathaniel: [Blood-curdling scream] "MOMMY, IT'S THE SONG FROM 'CARS' AGAIN!"

Me: "Buddy, please don't yell in the car!"

Nathaniel: "What did I just say?"

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Preparing the brush his teeth the other night, Nathaniel took his shirt off. He looked at his nipples in the mirror and pointed at them:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, what are these again?"

Me: "Those are your nipples."

Nathaniel: "And you have nipples, too."

Me: "Yes."

Nathaniel: "Why are yours so LONG?"

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Every day after school, as we're driving home, we talk about what the boys learned that day. Usually it's something along the lines of "We talked about our families," "We built a pet store and we used a cash register," or "I learned how to recognize my name." Yesterday, however, the conversation went like this:

Me: "Nathaniel, what did you learn at school today?"

Nathaniel: "Um, that if I poop in my underwear and I let it sit there all day, it dries up!"

** He didn't actually poop in his underwear; he just didn't wipe well.

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To see past Slices of Life, click here.