It's a boy thing.

My favorite "cold open" to one of my favorite TV shows, Mad About You, contained no dialogue.

Helen Hunt's character, Jamie, strode quickly out of the master bedroom area holding a toilet paper holder with an empty cardboard roll on it. She walked over to Paul Reiser's character, Paul, stuck it in his face, pulled the empty cardboard roll off, took a new roll out from under her arm, emphasized sticking it on the holder, then stomped back into the bedroom. Classic.

It's a battle I've chosen never to wage, because I've pretty much decided it's a waste of breath, and quite frankly, there are more important battles in a marriage. Like "Trash Can Chicken," which is when you play a silent game of Chicken with your spouse, seeing who can get the last thing in the trash can before someone gives in and finally takes the top off, only to watch helplessly as the soggy Lucky Charms, empty yogurt containers, orange peels and a few plastic straw wrappers from juice boxes fall to the floor at your feet. Good times.

ANYWAY, a few weeks ago Grayson took the toilet paper thing to new heights. When I visited the master bathroom, I noticed that there were only a few squares left on the roll.


Not wanting to be wasteful, I decided to leave them for Grayson, but to go ahead and put a new roll on so I wouldn't have to do it the next time I came in.

Hours later, when I returned, THIS is what I found:

You've GOT to be kidding me. It must have taken more effort to hold the empty cardboard roll while unspooling paper from the NEW roll, combined with then placing the empty roll back on TOP of the new roll, than it could ever have taken to just throw the old roll in the trashcan, which -- as you can clearly SEE -- is about 7 inches away.

BOYS.

[SIGH.]