Two steps forward, one step back

Allow me to recount a conversation I had recently with a friend at church who lives in our neighborhood:

Him: "Hey, I saw you walking the other day on Park Avenue."

Me: "Really? Walking? I was probably jogging. Not that I want to point out specifically that I was jogging, but I probably was. Basically, I've figured out that when I jog, I look like I'm walking, and if I'm walking, I practically look like I'm standing still."

Him: "Nope, you were walking."

Me: "Hmmm. Maybe I'd stopped to tie my shoe or something and I was just ramping back up to speed."

Him: "Whatever, I saw you on Park Avenue EXERCISING."

MEN.

But it DOES seem like I'm barely moving at all sometimes when I'm running. Right now I'm only doing two miles a day, and it usually takes me about 30 minutes, so do the math. I jog at about the pace that most people walk.

And then TODAY I ran the two miles, looked at my watch during the cool-down, and stopped in my tracks: 35 minutes. THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES? FOR TWO MILES? SERIOUSLY? I'd been suspicious when a woman power-walked past me going the opposite direction and almost blew me down with her wind shear, but this was hard evidence that I'd barely been moving AT ALL. It's as if I was jogging in place. Legs moving, arms pumping, but basically I was just jogging vertically.

I have GOT to figure out forward motion.