Slices of Life, Vol. 26

Recently Nicholas woke up in the middle of the night and asked Grayson to take him to the potty. So that he wouldn't "wake up" more than absolutely necessary, Grayson only turned on the hall light, not the bathroom light itself. After using the potty:

Grayson: "Pull your pants up, buddy."

Nicholas: "I don't have pants ON, Daddy." [Pause] "I'm smarter than you in the dark."


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Nathaniel and Nicholas were playing Lego Star Wars on the Wii. Nick was Luke Skywalker and Nathaniel was Darth Vader:

Nick: "Nathaniel, come over here."

Nathaniel: "No."

Nick: "NATHANIEL, come over here."

Nathaniel: "No. I don't want to."

Nick: "NATHANIEL, I really need you to come over here and help me KILL THESE STORMS."

Nathaniel: "NO."

Nick: "NATHANIEL, I AM YOUR SON AND I NEED YOU!"

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Nathaniel and Nicholas have very recently migrated from shows like Kim Possible and Spider-Man to iCarly and The Suite Life of Zach & Cody. Hence ...

The boys were riding their Big Wheels down the hill on my parents' street during a recent visit to Marietta. When they got to the bottom of the hill:

Nicholas: "I TOTALLY ROCKED THAT."

Nathaniel: "Yeah, that was WICKED!"

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While driving Nathaniel to school in the rain:

Nathaniel: "I'm sure we won't go outside today, because it's raining really hard. That's probably a good thing. We aren't allowed to jump in puddles, and if we do, we have to turn in all of our free-play time AND we can't change our clothes."

Me: "Do you know anyone who's ever done that?"

Nathaniel: "YES. Graham did it, but Miss Bannon didn't see him, and I couldn't tell on him."

Me: "Why not?"

Nathaniel: "We have a No Telling rule. I'm not allowed to tell on anyone unless they are bleeding, throwing up, or on fire."

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On the way home from school:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, can we have Lucas over for a playdate? He doesn't have any brothers or sisters."

Me: "Sure. That would be strange, wouldn't it, not to have any brothers or sisters."

Nathaniel: [pause] "Actually, I think it COULD be GOOD. Except for three things. First, I wouldn't have anyone to play with. Second, I wouldn't have anyone to keep me company at church. And third, I'd only have you and Daddy to talk to. HOWEVAH, it would be really NICE to watch Clone Wars all by myself without Nicholas pushing all the buttons on the remote and messing it up."

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Driving home recently:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, why does that sign have the McDonald's logo on it if there's no McDonald's there?"

Me: "That's called a 'billboard,' and it's a form of advertising. They put a SIGN for McDonald's a couple of MILES from McDonald's in the hopes that you'll think, 'Oh, good. I'd love a milkshake or french fries or whatever.' And then you'll stop at the next McDonald's and spend money."

Nathaniel: [pause] "It worked. Let's go."

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We finally got around to setting up our Wii Fit this weekend (the one we got for Christmas). Grayson was setting up his Mii so he could start exercising, and I was in the kitchen cleaning up from lunch. Nathaniel came in the kitchen:

Me: "What's Daddy doing?"

Nathaniel: [nonchalantly] "Setting up Wii Fit. It looks like it's going to be Boring."

Later on, he decided it looked interesting, indeed, so he joined in while Grayson was doing Yoga. It looked like a pretty good workout to me. About 10 minutes into it:

Me: "Nathaniel, how's it going? What does it feel like?"

Nathaniel: "I don't know. I Can't Feel Anything Except The Pain."

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Recently we read the children's book "Stop, Drop, Roll," about practicing fire safety in your home. In it, there's a section about how Jessica can't remember the phrase, and she substitutes with phrases like "Shop, Stop and Pole!" and "Mop, Pop and Bowl!"

Nicholas got into a laughing fit about that, because he thought it was so silly, and then he shouted out his own version: "Stop, Drop and POOP!"

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Grayson took Nathaniel and Nicholas to the U.S. Space & Rocket Center in Huntsville (home of Space Camp!) last week while Nathaniel was on Spring Break. Nick's favorite activity was Lunar Lander, a launcher that took the boys up in the air and then bounced them repeatedly before sending them back up again. When I came home from work that night:

Me: "Nick, what was your favorite thing about the Rocket Center?"

Nicholas: "The bouncy ride. It tickled my penis!"

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Also at the Rocket Center, Nicholas was so excited about the bouncy ride (I wonder why ...) that he asked Grayson if they could come back to it later.

Grayson: "There are so many things to do, let's go see more of the things and come back."

Nicholas: "OK, I will go do other things if I can come back and ride this four times."

[Cut to two hours later, when they looped back around to the ride, where the line was much longer than it had been earlier in the day. They rode two times, and it was taking a while to get through the line.]

Grayson: "OK, boys. One more time and we'll have to go."

Nicholas: "No, Two More Times."

Grayson: "We'll see."

Nicholas: "We rode two times. We get to ride Two More Times. YOU ARE REALLY BAD AT COUNTING."



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