It's unbecoming to cry in the shoe store

I imagine people would look at you funny if you cried in the shoe store, so I kept myself in check when we went earlier this week to buy Jake's first pair of shoes.

Now that he's cruising around the furniture and the weather is getting nice, his teachers at school had requested that we go ahead and get a pair. I'm sure THIS is a familiar sight to many parents out there:



In this family, we've not yet experienced the luxury of being able to buy shoes at Wal-Mart or Rack Room, because all three boys have had XW feet. It's not that they're so much wide as they are TALL. Their feet are so juicy (even Nathaniel's, and he's 6), that they won't fit in regular or even wide shoes. We have to go extra-wide every time.

Even though we knew we were going to buy shoes for Jake, we were ridiculously unprepared to do so. Basically, we took the kid and a credit card and forgot everything else. For example, he was sporting a romper that zipped all the way up to his neck and completely enclosed his feet. For second example, we took no socks. Therefore, we unzipped him, purchased a three-pack of socks (because No Way do they sell single packs of socks at Stride Rite), and got ready to measure his foot. Four-and-a-half extra-wide! (For comparison, Nathaniel's first pair was 4.5 XW and Nick's was 5 XW.)


P.S. He did not like the cold metal measuring thingie and refused to rest his entire body weight on it.

Have I mentioned that this was a Family Adventure and we all trekked through the mall to get to the shoe store? And are you aware of the natural near statistical impossibility of having three children be happy at the same time? (Jake is thrilled with his sock. Nathaniel is totally in the moment. Note the scowl on 4's face.)


And once he realized he was in the shot, he had to cover the scowl. Four-year-olds simply cannot allow themselves to be photographed if they are in a bad mood and even passive cooperation would indicate to the parent that they were, in fact, willing to be part of the family for 1/1000th of a second. (I keep reminding myself what my friend Walt tells me: "Don't hate the playa, hate the game.")



And if you for some reason thought that a post about Jake's first pair of shoes could end here, you would be sorely mistaken. And if you also thought that a post of this nature only required, say, two pictures, you would also be mistaken. (I apologize. It's a sickness.)

I love how in this one, he's like, "Yeah, let's get it right the first time, lady. I'm rockin' this diaper and I've got the pecs to bring the house down, but it's getting close to bottle time."




And then he decided that HE REALLY LIKED THE SHOES. ("Shoes RULE, Mommy!")



"Have you SEEN my shoes?" Note: our child only has two legs, not three, despite what these pictures suggest.



Here is Jake sporting his Matthew McConaughey (or Tony Dovolani) look ... take your pick. The open shirt, dimples and pecs are almost too much to take, I know. He's just in love with the shoe.



I took the shoe off to get him dressed again and so that we could pay for them, but he was much more interested in checking them out FROM EVERY ANGLE. A little QA from the 1-year-old.

"Looks pretty good, Mommy; let's see it from another angle."



"Yep, good sole construction, but let me poke this right side here and ... yep, appears to be excellent support."



"Now let me poke this side. Feels ... pretty good. I think I'm OK with the soles."



"NOW I'm getting serious. Before you pay, Mommy, let me check out the INSOLES ... Seem to be acceptable ..."



"Just one more good look at the outer construction, and I'll give you the go-ahead to make the purchase. Um-hmmm."



"Mommy, you may pay for the shoes. BOTTLE TIME!"