Shredded

I'd been reading a lot about Jillian Michaels' 30-day Shred workout video over the past couple of months, so recently I purchased it on Amazon.



I know that 30 days isn't likely to shred much of anything, but I figured it would be a good start. Combined with my regular jogging or walking, I thought it'd be bound to have SOME positive effect. Which it WOULD, if you could physically jog or walk after having DONE The Shred a few times. Which you cannot.

Grayson read the packaging and decided that he wanted to do it with me, which is great. It's always easier to commit when you have someone else there, motivating you. So we started doing the workout in the late evenings after the kids go to bed. Because good for me or not, I am SO NOT getting out of bed any earlier in the morning to do this workout. For Pete's sake, it already TAKES me 50 minutes to get up, and I don't even have the de-motivation of extreme imminent physical torture keeping me there. Just an aversion to work.

So we started sometime last week. And the actual DAY that we started would be germane to this conversation if we were actually sticking to the "30 Days" referenced in the title of the DVD. However, that is SO not going to happen. But you start out optimistically enough:



And by the way, if you thought I'd put pictures of us doing The Shred on my blog, you'd be wrong. W.R.O.N.G. Not in THIS lifetime. It isn't pretty.

I use 9-pounds weights, and Grayson uses 15-pounders. (I warned him that she is a girl, but she is tough, but he insisted on using the 15s. I say to you again, I warned him.) You use the weights for some exercises, and you also do some cardio such as jumping jacks and running in place.



Then you do push-ups. Help me, Rhonda. The push-ups. They are epic. I do them like a girl, and they're STILL hard for me. It's been over a year since I was in a "Power Hour" class at the gym doing them every day, and it feels like it's been three times that long. LOOK AT HER FACE. I think she's trying to be motivational, but I can't even look at her.



Plus, you'll notice that she's "coaching," not actually DOING the push-ups. Cheater.



Arrgggghhhh.


We've been doing it for almost two weeks, but we've had to take several nights off. Starting with night 3. After two sessions of this stuff, it's take a night off or die. And Grayson has done it several times without me due to things like migraines, baby showers and um, Not Wanting To. BUT REMEMBER, I'm also jogging or walking two miles after work, so I'm not totally copping out.

I just have to paint a picture for you, though, about why I've taken more breaks than he has. Here are some things that I have done since starting The Shred:

- Grunted in a totally unladylike way when I got up from a chair, EVERY TIME I GOT UP FROM A CHAIR, for 36 hours after Day 2.
- Shrieked (loudly, and alone in my car) when I brought my right arm over the steering wheel to make a 90-degree left-hand turn onto the entrance ramp to the highway, almost losing control and careening into the curb, also after Day 2.
- Walked totally normally and tricked myself into thinking I'D MADE IT PAST THE PAIN until I got to the steps outside my office building and my right knee caved under the pressure after Day 5.
- Winced and groaned when I reached up to turn on my left blinker today, after Day 11. DID YOU KNOW YOU SOMEHOW USE YOUR BICEP TO TURN ON YOUR BLINKER? (I suppose it's possible that I'm an overachiever in blinker usage.)

At any rate, we recommend it (can you tell?), because it's only 20 minutes a day, it's a really well-rounded workout, and it totally kicks your butt.

THIS IS MY VERSION OF A RAVE REVIEW. So, YES, co-workers, send me your requests for personal recommendations on LinkedIn! I'll do you proud.

P.S. Hey, Grayson and Lisa, leave a list of your Hurting Parts in the Comments for the good of the people.