Everyone, say hello to my new friend, Jenny

If someone asked me to pay $10,000 today so that I could be 40 pounds lighter tomorrow, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Literally. If that were the offer, I'd jump on it so fast my tummy would jiggle. In fact, I'd probably pay MORE than that. Put it on my equity line. Put it on a credit card. Whatever. If someone could make it that easy for me to lose the weight, I'd pay a lot.

I'm tired. Tired of looking at all the smaller, more stylish clothes in my closet that I can't wear. Tired of trying to find one more cute black top at the mall. Tired of clasping my hands in front of myself to hide my tummy. Tired of wearing maternity shorts when my baby is already 15 months old. Tired of carrying around an imaginary due date in my head to quote to strangers in case they ask me when I'm due. Because it is as distinctly embarrassing -- if not MORE embarrassing -- to be the askee of that question as it is to be the asker of that question. NO ONE wants to have a reason to say, "Sorry, I'm not pregnant."

I've lost 30 pounds three times now. The first time was when we were trying to get pregnant with Nathaniel and I wanted to be as healthy as possible. The second time was after I had him. The third time was after I had Nicholas. And now, here I am again. So I know I can do it. It's going to take me probably six months, but I can do it. I just really need it to be EASIER this time.

I wanted to basically have everything ready for me to eat, so I just have to throw it in my bag when I leave every morning. Well, THAT'S not gonna happen, no matter what program I'm on, I suppose. I'll have to do some sort of prep work -- whether throwing together a small side salad or washing veggies -- whether I'm simply counting Points on my own or following a formal program. But I'm choosing Jenny Craig, and I hope it goes well. Valerie Bertinelli, you have inspired me.

I bought this:



Which, as you can see, had a huge dent in it, right out of the box. But once you get one of these out of the store, into your car, out of your car, into your house, out of the box, and in the right spot, you're not returning it because of a small dent. AND THEY KNOW THAT.



Once it was in place, I put all of this in it:

I started the program on Monday of this week, and I don't talk to my counselor again until Tuesday the 4th. I'm seriously going to try not to blog about it except once a week, probably on Tuesdays when I have any news to report. (And hopefully it will always be good news.) No one wants to hear me gripe about food every day, I'm quite sure.

What I can tell you so far: The food isn't bad, but the portions are small. VERY SMALL. My desire to eat has been stripped away. Whereas I used to look forward to meals, now when it's time to eat, I wish it weren't. Cake and cookie have now taken on new meaning. They are now spoken as "cake" and "cookie," with air quotes. The cakes and cookies that are part of the program couldn't be called cakes and cookies in a non-dieting world. Plus, I'm hungry pretty much all the time. So far, the six-small-meals-a-day approach isn't really working that well for me. (I was going to post a disclaimer that clearly stated that I'm not being paid to blog about Jenny Craig, but I think that paragraph just accomplished that for me.)

But I'm on board the train. I'm not cheating. (Day 5 is almost over. Woo hoo!) And no, I'm not posting a "Before" picture in profile, not in this lifetime. No "After" bikini shot, either. NO SIREE BOB.

Wish me luck.