More ruminations

Since my sister pointed me to Ruminations.com a few weeks ago, I've become totally obsessed. Today I am happy to share a few of my recent favorites with you ...

Why does the First Response pregnancy test say "for women?" Isn't that a given?

Why does everything that has cinnamon in it also have raisins? Yes I'd love some cinnamon swirl break or a nice cinnamon bagel but could you pick out the nasty shriveled grapes first?

Finishing a good book is both equally frustrating and satisfying.

It's 2009; why does AM Radio still sound like that?

If you answer the question "what do you want to do" with the question "I don't know, what do you want to do," we're not hanging out anymore.

Whenever you find out that someone you know wears contacts too, you do the "Who-has-the-worst-eyesight" game.

Popcorn that's been sitting on the coffee table overnight: You're gross. But I'll eat you.

I am significantly more motivated by not looking stupid in front of others than by grades, scores or performance reviews.

I don't care if you pushed the pedestrian crossing button. I'm pushing it again, but harder.

Star Wars sheets: Preserving male virginity since 1977.

There is no greater teambuilding exercise than having something at work go wrong that's not really anyone's fault, and then complaining about it together.

When someone ends a message with "hope all is well," they may as well say "I hope things are ok, but whether they are or not, feel free not to fill me in."

When I become rich and famous, I'm gonna put my money in a safe made of that plastic packaging that's absolutely impossible to open.

I'm always very hesitant when deleting contacts in my phone book to make more room. I think, "Hmm, Ralph from 9th grade English ... what if I have a question about Romeo & Juliet? Who am I going to call? He stays."

How 'bout that incredibly awkward moment when everyone is giving their hugs goodbye and you come to that one person you don't really know well enough to hug.... Stand there awkwardly? Yep.

Does anyone else feel like a complete fraud when someone refers to them as an adult?

If you have to ask me if I'm avoiding you, you probably already know the answer.

I hate seeing tiny people in huge cars, but I love seeing huge people in tiny cars.

Without fail, I will put the USB in the computer the wrong way every time.

"Do your homework before video games! I'm starting to sound like a broken record." My son had no idea what the second sentence meant.

I am completely convinced that fruit flies spontaneously materialize out of thin air, and do not require reproduction or any other method of origin.

Hint: If I am slowly inching away from you during a hallway chat, it means I am desperately looking for an opportune moment to terminate the conversation and walk away.

If you are able to update your Facebook status, I don't think you actually have a migraine.

Finding another pair of clean underwear in the drawer when you thought you were out is the best thing ever. Score. That's at least 24 more laundry-free hours.

I refuse to believe that I am the reason I am still single.

I really don't mind putting away the dishes..except when it comes to Tupperware. I HATE putting away the Tupperware.

Why is it so easy to forget what you were going to say, but very hard to shake the feeling that it was something important or funny?

I think I've learned more from Wikipedia than I did from high school.

I hate when I think of something really great to say during a conversation but by the time I get a chance to speak, we're on a different topic. Do I let it pass and keep the good thought to myself, or do I awkwardly bring up the old topic again?

When you were young, there wasn't anything more exciting than parachute day in gym class.

Anytime I think my internet might be acting up, I automatically go to Google. If Google doesn't open, the internet must be down. If Google does open, then it must have just been a bad link. Thank you Google for your consistent and quick page loads.

I'll never understand squirrels. It's like they run halfway across the street, stop, look around and think, "Am I dead yet?"