Ruminations can do no wrong

I wish I could hang out with all the people who are registered Ruminations contributors. I think my days would be fuller for it. But in the meantime, let's all just enjoy a few recent gems:


- Youngsters take a strong stance on silly things like "I refuse to take medicine" or "I will always drink regular sodas." Just you wait, sport ... won't be long until you're wolfing down 3 or 4 Advils with your Diet Coke.


- There is nothing more stressful than being the last person at baggage claim.


- Why do parents always assume their kid has an ear infection when it pulls on its ear? Maybe he's trying to tell you "first word, sounds like."


- I'll bet the first person that popped a balloon had a freaking heart attack.


- Whenever someone asks me to do something I really don't want to do, I pretend not to understand the instructions long enough for them to get frustrated and do it themselves.


- I just read in a magazine that Anne Hathaway "was not hurt when a bicyclist crashed into the car she was riding in." There's something wrong with this picture ... what the hell happened to the bike rider?

- The second half tank of gas never seems to last as long as the first half.

- Anytime someone is holding groceries on TV they always have one paper bag in each arm with at least one loaf of French bread and one stalk of celery sticking out. In real life I have 13 plastic bags in each hand, 5 of which contain only frozen pizzas.

- I can procrastinate doing just about anything. Except scratching an itch. That must be done immediately.

- How awesome would it be if the Professor, Mary Anne and Ginger were behind everything on the last episode of Lost?

- So how many trees did they have to kill to make all those Avatar tickets they sold?

- Don't you hate it when you break your chip in the dip ... rescue chip saves the day!