Slices of Life, Vol. 30

Me: "Jake, are you poopy?"

Jake: "Nope."

Me: "Are you lying?"

Jake: "Yep."

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Jake: "Huh buh jerry soosie puh guh mizzy sloo minimuh air lah lah duh."

Me: [joking] "Oh, do you want me to come in the den with you, Jakey?"

Jake: [looks down his nose at me] "NO. Zeb bwo huh buh jerry gom may may loo may sliz roo poo buh guh."

OH, OKAY.

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Driving home from school recently:

Me: "Nathaniel, did you have a good day?"

Nathaniel: "Yes. For about the first three weeks of school, it was hard to be good all day. Now it's a little easier. It's DEFINITELY easier to be good in Extended Day than in school." [thoughtfully] "I think I was just BORN that way."

Me: "Why do you think that is?"

Nathaniel: "Well, I am only in Extended Day for two hours. And I am in school for seven hours. There's a LOT more opportunity to get in trouble in seven hours than in two hours."

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On the way home from school the other night, Nathaniel was talking about how excited he was about a friend's upcoming birthday party.

Nathaniel: "I can't wait until Patrick's birthday party on Saturday. If Jake and Nick and I had all been born this Saturday, too, we could have had four parties in a row for a total of eight hours of parties!"

Me: "True. But you weren't all born on the same day."

Nathaniel: "I know. Nick was born on October 4th. In 2004."

Me: "I didn't know you knew what year he was born. Do you know when Jake was born?"

Nathaniel: "Of course. His birthday is April 16th, 2008."

Me: "Wow. How do you know he was born in 2008?"

Nathaniel: "Easy. I remember seeing him at Christmas 2008, but he wasn't around at Christmas 2007."

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While reviewing the highs and lows of Nicholas' day recently:

Me: "Nick, why were you in Ms. Margaret's office at the end of the day?"

Nicholas: "No reason. It was no reason, except that I was throwing rocks."

Me: "Were you throwing them AT PEOPLE?"

Nicholas: [insulted] "No I was not throwing them AT people. I was throwing them OVER people and AROUND people."

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Me: "Nick, it's going to be SO HOT today."

Nicholas: "How hot?"

Me: "Like 85."

Nicholas: "YEA! Nathaniel! Nathaniel! We get to wear short-sleeved pants!"

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While riding home from school in the car with Nathaniel recently:

Nathaniel: "Mommy, I love to read sooooo much. But I love to read short things more than long things."

Me: "Hmm."

Nathaniel: "Like, I love to read those signs that tell you what street you're on. When I'm riding the bus to school in the mornings, I just can't RESIST them. I mean, I have to read 'em ALL."

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At the ballpark one night during Nathaniel's game, I was playing around with Jakey in the bleachers, and he was in a great mood:

Me: "Are you cute?"

Jake: "Yep."

Me: "Are you funny?"

Jake: "Yep."

Me: "Are you hungry?"

Jake: "Yep."

Me: "Are you handsome?"

Jake: "Yep."

Baseball Mom Next Sitting Next to Me: "Is that the only word he knows?"

Jake: [cuts his eyes over to her] "Nope."

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During supper one evening, Nicholas spent a little time in the restroom. As he came back in the kitchen, he stopped in the middle of the room, raised his eyebrows and announced: "Be careful. There's a stinky ghost in there."