If you ever need help making decisions during a fire, I'm your girl

I think I've mentioned here before that Nathaniel once told me: "Mommy, I know what to do in a fire. I will help you carry the scrapbooks out." So, you know, we have our priorities straight around here.

But what would we grab if we were in an emergency situation away from home? We got the answer to that question on the way to the beach.

We drove until late Thursday night and made it halfway across Georgia, then decided to stop at a hotel for the night. The following morning, we got up and gathered our things, then Grayson went downstairs to get a luggage cart so we could get everything to the ground floor and load the van.

He'd been gone about three minutes when the fire alarm went off in two short bursts. I was in the bedroom, not within sight of the alarm light, but I came around the corner and Nathaniel was standing there looking up at it. "MOMMY. I THINK THERE'S A FIRE. That alarm just went off and it blinked."

Immediately I did a visual check to be sure all three boys had their shoes on, and then I started thinking about what to grab. Once again, the alarm went off, and it was LOUD. I quickly picked up my camera bag, my laptop bag, Grayson's backpack with his laptop in it, and the bag that held my iPod, pocket camera, Kindle and video camera. ELECTRONICS ARE MY FRIENDS. My expensive-to-replace friends.

I kept thinking that Grayson was going to show back up any second and I'd be able to pawn some of the bags off on him, but then it occurred to me that the hotel staff wouldn't have let him come back upstairs since the alarm went off after he left. Nathaniel was getting more and more worried: "MOMMY. WE NEED TO GO. THERE IS A FIRE."

So I began herding the boys to the door when -- I swear to you I am not making this up -- the fire alarm beeped "Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits." You know, buh-buh-duh-buh-buh, buh BUH. I stopped in my tracks, looked up at the alarm, looked down at the boys and said, "Wait a minute. That sounded like a HAPPY SOUND."

And at this point, I got seriously pissed off. I was thinking that it might be the hotel's All-Clear signal for the fire alarm, but if it was, I TOOK ISSUE WITH IT. How in the world do you have an All-Clear signal with no accompanying verbal announcement over the PA system? I have three kids and four bags of electronics on me. I NEED FIRE-ALARM CLARITY.

So I decided we were just going to evacuate anyway. Just as we reached the door, the alarm gave two short bursts again, so my decision was validated. And as I reached for the doorknob, there were two short knocks.

I swung the door open and Grayson was standing there: "You didn't answer the doorbell."

OH INTERNET. I almost had a come-apart right there. I busted out laughing and laughed so hard I cried. We were in a handicap-accessible room, and he'd been ringing the doorbell so we'd let him back in -- which activated the fire alarm. Of course, after the first innocent ring, he was totally playing with me since he could hear me through the door, and while I was still laughing he said, "WAIT A MINUTE. THAT WAS A HAPPY SOUND!"

It's a good thing I appreciate practical jokes.