'Twas the night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

(EXCEPT MY CHILDREN, WHO WERE RUNNING THROUGH THE HALLS OF OUR HOTEL IN THEIR PJS AT 9:00 AT NIGHT)

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

(EXCEPT THAT I ACCIDENTALLY LEFT ALL OF OUR STOCKING STUFFERS AT HOME IN ALABAMA AND UNFORTUNATELY WE'RE ALL IN SOUTH CAROLINA FOR CHRISTMAS)

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

(EXCEPT THEY'RE NOT IN THEIR OWN BEDS; WE'RE IN A HOTEL AND JAKE HAS CROUP AND IS SLAMMED UP AGAINST ME)

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

(EXCEPT NAPS ARE A PIPEDREAM THESE DAYS SINCE EVEN JAKE HAS GIVEN THEM UP)

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

(EXCEPT YOU'D HAVE TO PRY ME OUT OF BED WITH A CHOCOLATE BAR BECAUSE A SIMPLE CLATTER ON THE LAWN ISN'T GONNA DO IT)

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

(EXCEPT AT THE RESIDENCE INN, THE WINDOWS DON'T OPEN)

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

(EXCEPT WE'RE IN SOUTH CAROLINA, DID I MENTION THAT? AND THERE'S NO SNOW HERE.)

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

(EXCEPT WE DON'T "DO" SANTA, BUT OUR KIDS ARE TRYING TO PLAY ALONG THIS YEAR FOR THEIR COUSINS' SAKES)

But for all of that, we are SO excited about Christmas this year, and I can't wait to share the excitement of our trip with you. It is a blessing to be able to spend even just a few days with our family. And with that, I leave you with the last several words of this famous story:

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.