Uncomfortable truths, vol. 6

1. I drool so much when I sleep that Grayson once nicknamed me the eighth dwarf: Drooly.

2. I've only seen about 10 minutes of Hoosiers.

3. Every time I'm driving behind someone and they throw a cigarette butt out their car window, I cringe because I'm sure that when I drive over it, my car's gonna explode. So if any of you are smokers, the next time you go to do that, think about the people like me in the car behind you, whose hineys are seizing up in fear.

4. I try really hard not to break the law, and generally I do pretty well. However, a couple of times a year, I seem to have a spurt of a few days in a row on which I run red pink stoplights. It's like, I don't do it for six months and then over three consecutive days I'll nearly run six stoplights. Then I don't do it again for the better part of a year. Now watch. Next week I'm gonna get a ticket.

5. There's no way to say this other than to just spit it out: Because my cough was so bad when I was sick recently and because I have no bladder control after having three children, last week I had to pull out the spare pair of underwear I keep in my desk drawer at work. And replace the ones I had on with them.

So now I bid a fond farewell to those of you who are never coming back after reading Number 5. It was lovely knowing you.

And a hearty WELCOME to those of you who will be joining us later today after Googling "spare pair of underwear in desk drawer"!