Saturday funnies

So in case you're not already hooked on the funny sites I keep droning on and on about, here are some of my favorite posts from this week from When Parents Text (and these aren't all the absolute funniest ones, but some of those had profanity in them and I'm trying to keep it clean ... I never know when NATHANIEL is going to read my blog now):

When Parents Text

Mom: How do I “tweet”. I’ve got something on my mind.

* * * * * 

Mom: in the airport where kim started her period :)

* * * * * 

DAD: Love you

Me: OMG did you just send a text??

DAD: Is that what i did?

* * * * *

Dad: You pocket-dialed me last night and left an hour long message

Me: haha whoops!

Dad: It didn’t sound like a library

* * * * * 

[in response to Facebook stating that it was her mom's birthday]

Me: Mom, today is not your birthday…

Mom: It was a fake birthday to throw off identity thieves… It didn’t work too well. I have confused my friends!

 * * * * *

[texting while at Costco]

Dad: Got new card and I’m primary card holder.

Mom: Oh ok

Mom: Get low sodium soy sauce and vingar for our marindades

Dad: 300 12oz. cups for only $9.99! I was paying $2.50 for 50.

Dad: 152 gallon ziplocks for 9.99

Dad: They only half regular soy sauce.

Dad: I want to still use regular soy sauce

Dad: In line

Dad: Probably $175 total. I want to come back for six pack of PUR filters only $45

Dad: They sell caskets.

  * * * * *

Me: how much money is in my account?

Dad: whats my middle name to make sure this is really you

   * * * * *

Me: anything you don’t like on a burrito? and what is meat of choice?
Dad: Like it all! goat
(2 min later)
Dad: maybe cow
(3 min later)
Dad: seriously though, get cow

   * * * * *

Dad: Your cat vomited

Dad: Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it up when you come home from school in three weeks

    * * * * *

Me: Mom! I left my jersey that I wore the last 2 times the steelers won at home!

Mom: Well I can’t wear it. I already have 3 shirts and a jacket on. All lucky. I will tape it to the couch in the position that you would ordinarily sit. GO STEELERS - love mom.

  * * * * *

Me: I think I have to come home so I can go to the doctor. I have a UTI.

Mom: Are you wiping front to back?