Nicholas: "Hey, if you get caught in a tornado, do you choke?"
Nathaniel: [matter-of-factly] "Only if you're wearing a cape."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nicholas was standing over Nathaniel's shoulder, watching Nathaniel play a game on his laptop:
Nathaniel: "Hey, Nick. Close your mouth. Your breath stinks."
Grayson: "You know, Nathaniel, you could have said something a little nicer, like 'Nicholas, why don't you go brush your teeth?' "
Nathaniel: "Mine was more efficient."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
While driving to the ballpark the other night:
Nicholas: "Mommy. Why do we have to go to school for seven hours a day?"
Me: "To learn."
Nicholas: "AND to play. Mommy. Did you know that in the olden days, they only had to go to school for an hour a day?"
Me: "Really? No, I didn't know that. How long ago was that?"
Nathaniel: "Like in the 1800s."
Me: "I wonder why they only had to go for an hour a day."
Nicholas: "Because back then they just, like, counted sticks. That doesn't take that long."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The other night Nicholas was in the bathtub with Jake, and Jake was being particularly splashy:
Nicholas: "JAKE. STOP. SPLASHING."
Jake: "Dis is fahn!"
Nicholas: "Jake! Stop! You're making too many waves! It's like when the salami hit Japan!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
While driving home from school recently:
Nathaniel: "Mommy. Can I go to your baby shower? And this is NOT just about the cake. I really want to see a baby shower."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A family at the bottom of our street recently adopted a Great Pyrenees that looks a lot like our old dog, Moses. I stopped to point it out to my parents when they were here a few weeks ago.
Nicholas: "Why are we slowing down?"
Me: "I wanted to show Mop and Pop the dog that looks like Mo-Mo. It's the same breed that he was."
Nicholas: "You know what kind of dog Mo-Mo is now?"
Me: "Sure."
Nicholas: "A DEAD ONE."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
While Nicholas was home with strep throat recently:
Nicholas: “George Washington didn’t know his ABCs until he was 25.”
Me: “Really? He couldn’t read or write until he was 25?”
Nicholas: “OF COURSE HE COULD. He just didn’t know the ABC SONG until he was 25.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nathaniel mentioned a while back that he really wanted to get some Big Red gum sometime. It was just an offhand remark, but I tucked it away and then bought a pack to put in his Easter basket. I guess he'd wanted it a little bit sooner, because when he found it in his basket on Easter, he turned to me and said, "Great job on something from a conversation THREE WEEKS IN THE PAST."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
During the recent spate of tornadoes in our area, we were all glued to the TV watching the coverage.
Nicholas: "We have too many windows in this house."
Me: "We'll be fine. We'll go to the basement when the worst of it comes through."
Nicholas: "We need a heavier house."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Also on Easter, I spent some time napping on the couch, trying to catch up on sleep I'd missed the night before when I was at the hospital with Jake. The boys were watching one of the Star Wars movies, and it was the scene where Anakin and Obi Wan were having a light saber battle in the lava fields. As Anakin had his legs chopped off and then he burned up in front of our eyes:
Me: "OH that is so gross. This is really scary and disgusting."
Nicholas: "Not really."
Me: "I think it's PLENTY gross. I can't believe you love it so much."
Nicholas: "Meh. But Padme DOES cry in this one. I guess that's why it's rated PG-13."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As we pulled over to the side of the road recently to let an ambulance pass:
Nathaniel: "Nicholas, you have to pull over ANYTIME an ambulance or police car comes by with its lights on."
Nicholas: "I KNOW THAT. It's because they're on the way to help someone."
Nathaniel: "Yeah, mostly. Although sometimes the cops are just going to get a cuppa joe."
