Slices of Life, Vol. 36

While on the way to baseball practice one evening:

Nicholas: "Hey, if you get caught in a tornado, do you choke?"

Nathaniel: [matter-of-factly]  "Only if you're wearing a cape."

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Nicholas was standing over Nathaniel's shoulder, watching Nathaniel play a game on his laptop:

Nathaniel: "Hey, Nick. Close your mouth. Your breath stinks."

Grayson: "You know, Nathaniel, you could have said something a little nicer, like 'Nicholas, why don't you go brush your teeth?' "

Nathaniel: "Mine was more efficient."

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While driving to the ballpark the other night:

Nicholas: "Mommy. Why do we have to go to school for seven hours a day?"

Me: "To learn."

Nicholas: "AND to play. Mommy. Did you know that in the olden days, they only had to go to school for an hour a day?"

Me: "Really? No, I didn't know that. How long ago was that?"

Nathaniel: "Like in the 1800s."

Me: "I wonder why they only had to go for an hour a day."

Nicholas: "Because back then they just, like, counted sticks. That doesn't take that long."

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The other night Nicholas was in the bathtub with Jake, and Jake was being particularly splashy:

Nicholas: "JAKE. STOP. SPLASHING."

Jake: "Dis is fahn!"

Nicholas: "Jake! Stop! You're making too many waves! It's like when the salami hit Japan!"

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While driving home from school recently:

Nathaniel: "Mommy. Can I go to your baby shower? And this is NOT just about the cake. I really want to see a  baby shower."

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A family at the bottom of our street recently adopted a Great Pyrenees that looks a lot like our old dog, Moses. I stopped to point it out to my parents when they were here a few weeks ago.

Nicholas: "Why are we slowing down?"

Me: "I wanted to show Mop and Pop the dog that looks like Mo-Mo. It's the same breed that he was."

Nicholas: "You know what kind of dog Mo-Mo is now?"

Me: "Sure."

Nicholas: "A DEAD ONE."

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While Nicholas was home with strep throat recently:

Nicholas: “George Washington didn’t know his ABCs until he was 25.”

Me: “Really? He couldn’t read or write until he was 25?”

Nicholas: “OF COURSE HE COULD. He just didn’t know the ABC SONG until he was 25.”

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Nathaniel mentioned a while back that he really wanted to get some Big Red gum sometime. It was just an offhand remark, but I tucked it away and then bought a pack to put in his Easter basket. I guess he'd wanted it a little bit sooner, because when he found it in his basket on Easter, he turned to me and said, "Great job on something from a conversation THREE WEEKS IN THE PAST."

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During the recent spate of tornadoes in our area, we were all glued to the TV watching the coverage.

Nicholas: "We have too many windows in this house."

Me: "We'll be fine. We'll go to the basement when the worst of it comes through."

Nicholas: "We need a heavier house."

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Also on Easter, I spent some time napping on the couch, trying to catch up on sleep I'd missed the night before when I was at the hospital with Jake. The boys were watching one of the Star Wars movies, and it was the scene where Anakin and Obi Wan were having a light saber battle in the lava fields. As Anakin had his legs chopped off and then he burned up in front of our eyes:

Me: "OH that is so gross. This is really scary and disgusting."

Nicholas: "Not really."

Me: "I think it's PLENTY gross. I can't believe you love it so much."

Nicholas: "Meh. But Padme DOES cry in this one. I guess that's why it's rated PG-13."

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As we pulled over to the side of the road recently to let an ambulance pass:

Nathaniel: "Nicholas, you have to pull over ANYTIME an ambulance or police car comes by with its lights on."

Nicholas: "I KNOW THAT. It's because they're on the way to help someone."

Nathaniel: "Yeah, mostly. Although sometimes the cops are just going to get a cuppa joe."