The staycation that I will choose to remember fondly

We chose last weekend as The Weekend we would spend a night at a hotel to have sort of a "last hurrah" as a family of five. With Amelia on her way, we wanted to take the boys to do something really special, and we decided that a night at Ross Bridge would be just the ticket.

Because Grayson has historically traveled a lot on business, he has enough rewards points built up that we were able to stay for free.

On Saturday around noon, Jake and I dropped Grayson, Nathaniel and Nicholas off at the front door with the luggage, and we went to park the van. On the walk back up to the main entrance, we marveled at the beautiful day we were about to enjoy!

As soon as Jake spied the fountain, he wanted to stop and check it out.

Grayson and I have stayed there a couple of times before, and I just love this property.

Jake walked up to the massive front doors and surprised me by being able to swing one open all by himself. He was sweet enough to hold it for the people heading out, as well as for me. What a gentleman!

We entered the beautiful lobby, and I could just feel myself exhale. I was so happy to be there!

Nathaniel was coming down the hall to meet us; he quickly got Jake's attention, and they took off running down the main hall toward our room.

It was at the end of the hall on the right that they stopped in their tracks, because they'd gotten their first glimpse of the pool ... the piece de resistance and the main reason that we chose this hotel for our staycation.

All of a sudden they couldn't WAIT to get outside, so we quickly made our way to our room to get changed into our swimsuits. We had a beautiful view of the putting green from our balcony.

We were in and back out of our room, lickety-split! We took the elevator down a couple of floors to the pool, where on one side you can enjoy a beautiful view of this waterfall:

It only took Jake a few moments to say, "I want to SWIM to you, Daddy!" And he jumped in off the side with no swim vest or floaties and swam straight to Grayson.

I can't tell you how proud of him I am ... just two or three weeks ago we started practicing with him at our regular pool, and he has really come into his own in such a short time.

The big boys, of course, couldn't wait to get to the slide. I'd say in the first hour we were there, they each did the slide at least 30 times!

The pool was plenty busy, but not completely full. The wait for the slide was never too long, maybe a minute or two.

Once Jake saw his brothers enjoying it so much, it didn't take any convincing to get him in line. However, he refused to wear his swim vest! He was convinced that he could do it without his vest, so we let him try.

The first time he went down, he let Nathaniel ride right behind him.

Grayson was waiting for them at the bottom (I could barely touch the bottom without my face going under water, so I had to stay farther back). Jake popped right up on his own and started swimming over to the ladder!

Grayson stayed with him the whole way, but he never had to reach out and help him.

Our little fish made it all the way to the side of the pool all by himself!

Quite frankly, I didn't think he could do it, so I was very impressed.

Nathaniel and Nicholas, who had been cheering him on, were waiting for him to get there, and they all went back up the stairs to the slide together.

We did this from about 12:30 to 5:00.

No one got bored, and no one wanted to stop. Up the ladder and down the slide they went, for hours on end.

Finally at 5:15 we told them we really needed to dry off and get some supper. Grayson had said that we could do supper that night OR brunch the next morning, but not both. And I didn't hesitate: BRUNCH. So the boys suggested that we go to McDonald's for supper, because we "needed" to try the new Rolo McFlurry.

Have you looked up the meaning of the word "sacrilege" lately? No? Well, let me refresh your memory. In short, it means "leaving a five-star resort to drive to McDonald's for supper."

But I will say this: When Grayson brought my Rolo McFlurry to the table after our meal, it looked mighty good.

Plenty of Rolos in there, and aside from the weird, hollow, square spoon, it was a delight.

I believe I may have inadvertently left a teaspoon of vanilla ice cream in the bottom of my cup, though.

OH WAIT. MAYBE NOT.

When we got back to the hotel, we were all so exhausted that we could barely stand up. The boys had thought they were going to want to get back in the pool, but in the end none of us were capable of the energy that it would have required just to get our wet swimsuits back on. So we rented Gnomeo & Juliet instead. (We thought it was cute.)

And then the looooooooong night commenced. Here is how it went down:

• The boys talk, giggle, gripe and roll around until after 10:30 p.m., at which point we FINALLY all fall asleep.
• 1:20 a.m. - Jake falls off of his air mattress and starts crying. Grayson gets up to settle him back in.
• 1:24 a.m. - I get up to pee.
• 2:12 a.m. - Our neighbor starts cooking something in the microwave. It takes six cycles, meaning six separate sets of programming and then "it's done" beeps.
• 3:15 a.m. - I get up to pee.
• 4:02 a.m. - Some sort of strange "whooooooooop" alarm goes off in the hallway, very briefly. 
• 4:04 a.m. - The "whoooooooop" alarm goes off again, very briefly.
• 4:31 a.m. - I get up to pee.
• 5:55 a.m. - The phone in our room rings one and a half times.
• 6:15 a.m. - Hotel Security knocks on our door. Grayson gets up to answer it. They say we didn't answer our wake-up call. We say we hadn't ordered one, and BY THE WAY, HUSH.
• 6:16 a.m. - The boys start to stir. SHOCKING.
• 6:17 a.m. - I get up to pee.
• 6:30 a.m. - They're all awake and want to know when I'm getting up.
• 6:31 a.m. - We convince them to watch Disney Channel on mute for the duration of two shows.
• 7:38 a.m. - Having been awake almost the entire dadgum night, I give up and get up.
• 7:55 a.m. - I realize that while I am awake, dressed and have brushed my teeth, all of my people are still in PJs and are ready to go NOT AT ALL.

Nonetheless, somehow we had ourselves downstairs at an outdoor table ready to eat brunch about 20 minutes later.  The view from my chair was sweet.

We chose the breakfast buffet, and we all loaded our plates up. I chose oatmeal with brown sugar, French toast croissants with homemade strawberry syrup, an organic blueberry muffin and a pecan-encrusted sticky bun.

And also, my very favorite thing on their menu: their stone-ground grits. They are TO. DIE. FOR.

I chose water to drink, but each of us also tried the complimentary watermelon juice. (You know, "complimentary" with our $60 breakfast.)

I tend to agree with Nathaniel's assessment, though: "Watermelon juice is better when it's actually PAHT OF the watermelon."

The boys were itching to get in the pool, so we finished our meal as quickly as we could, then went back to the room and changed into our swimsuits. We were out at the pool before 9:00. A RECORD FOR OUR FAMILY, I'm quite sure.

We swam until noon, then packed up and headed the 10 minutes home to get ready for the Cub Scout popsicle party on Sunday afternoon.

And by the time we got home from THAT, I think I could have slept for three straight days. (Too bad that wasn't in the cards.) But still, even operating on just an hour or two of sleep Saturday night, it was a trip to remember, and the boys are already asking to do it again. Worth it!

In lieu of a post about the weekend ...

I had fully planned on telling you the story of our staycation today, but then last night it took more than 90 minutes just to load the pictures into Blogger.

SO. Today is a no-go for that post.

Instead, I'd love to share with you something that's hard to look at, but at the same time is a wonderful example of the resilience of animals and the amazing difference that a loving family can make in the life of a dog or cat.

Courtesy of Abraham at 22 Words, I invite you to take a look at seven stray and abused animals turned into beloved pets. 

Every one of these sweeties got his or her happily ever after. If you've ever considered owning a pet, please consider adopting from a shelter. You, too, could save an animal's life.

Finish the sentence

The weekend kicked my butt. We had a great time on our "staycation" with the boys, but I am literally about to fall over. Can't wait to tell you all about it. Later.

Last week, Teresa introduced me to the concept of "Finish the sentence." I thought it was clever and decided to try it today, since I'm incapable of original thoughts at the moment. Of course Teresa had her trademark GORGEOUS photos to accompany her post, which you aren't going to find here. But let's do it anyway, shall we?

Outside my window ... is a beautiful, unseasonably cool evening. (Yes, low 80s is unseasonably cool here.) I'm feeling a little guilty about it, since so many of our East Coast friends and family are just now climbing out from under the effects of Hurricane Irene -- but not so guilty about it that I wish I could trade places with them. 

I am thinking ... that our weekend with the boys was wonderful, frustrating, happy, unnerving, sweet, angering, exciting and fulfilling. That makes it much like any other weekend, quite frankly. Luckily I can't think of any single day that could be described 100% by of one of those negative terms ... most days are a little good and bad. When I post pictures of it later this week and everything looks like it was awesome the whole time, just know that when I woke up grumpy after about 90 cumulative minutes of sleep on Saturday night, Grayson said, "And what exactly was it that made you think that all five of us staying in a nice hotel for a night was a GOOD idea?" 

From the kitchen ... I hear Grayson popping popcorn. Dangit. 

I am reading ... just blogs at the moment. I read Rob Lowe's memoir Stories I Only Tell My Friends last week, and I enjoyed it. I haven't downloaded my next book quite yet. 

I am hoping ... that Amelia stays put for at least two more weeks. We have almost four weeks left if she goes completely full term, and I need most of that time to get ready for her arrival! 

I am hearing ... Nathaniel's low, even breathing as he lies next to me, asleep. He came in while I was catching up on the weekend's posts in Reader, and he asked if he could lie down with me for a few minutes. And then he fell asleep. Now I'm waiting on Grayson to come move him to his bed. 

Some of my favorite things ... include hearing my boys laugh. I love to hear everything from their chuckles to their guffaws. And I used to think that my favorite thing in life was laughing until I cried. But I realized recently that my favorite thing in life is watching the boys do that.  

A few plans for the rest of the week ... I intend to shoot pictures of our redecorated master bedroom and to make some final additions to the nursery. Frames for the artwork in there are really holding me up at this point. After going to five stores in search of what I need, I might be reduced to ordering online from Ikea. Which means I'll have to pay shipping AND wait for them to get here. Bummer.

When I saw this at 22 Words last week, it stopped me in my tracks.

I am always concerned (read: I think about this concept about 15 times a week) that sometimes I give our boys the impression that if they'd just act a certain way or be more like such-and-such, they'd be better people.
Granted, I never say those words, and I try never to compare them to other people. But they are so perceptive -- all three of them -- that I worry they might construe any criticism from me as a sign that I wish they were different.

Do you ever worry about that?

TGIF

Night before last, I had a bad migraine and several hours of Braxton-Hicks contractions. They were really painful, but worst of all, they just exhausted me.

After downing about 60 ounces of water in a short period of time, they finally subsided and I was able to get to sleep ... but I had to get up to go to the bathroom SEVEN times overnight ... I was up more than once an hour to pee.

I WOULD HAVE KILLED FOR A CATHETER THAT NIGHT.

Anyway, that's why there was no post yesterday. Boo hoo. Pity party over.

So today, TODAY, I'm enormously thankful it's Friday. I plan to scrapbook with friends tonight for several hours after work, and tomorrow morning we're taking the boys to a nearby hotel for a day in its wonderful pool and an overnight stay to celebrate the first couple of weeks of school. WE'RE STILL ALIVE! Let's celebrate!

I didn't want to go two days without a post (because what would you do? how would you cope? who's full of herself?), so today I'm going to share with you a few things I loved this week. Enjoy, and have a wonderful weekend!

This absolutely reminds me of the way Nicholas would answer this question:

Courtesy of Win!

This is so ME (and my sister) it's ridiculous:

 Courtesy of 22 Words

I don't even have words for this. Actually, I will admit that when I first read the sign, I was like, "What's the fail?" And then I saw them:

Courtesy of Fail Blog

And finally, I once had a situation similar to this one in college:

 Courtesy of Fail Blog

The only difference was, I'd just made sweet tea on the stove, so it was piping hot. I took the pot off the burner and poured the tea straight into a clear plastic drink container. (I will never forget it; it had strawberries printed on it.) And right before my very eyes, the entire container started to melt.

It started running down the counter, along with all the tea. And it STANK to high heaven. MY WORD it smelled terrible.

To this day, when I make tea, I fill the plastic pitcher halfway with ice cubes and a little cold water. Then when I pour the practically-boiling tea in it, I know it won't MELT THE PITCHER.

I'm not famous for my knowledge of physics, Internet, but I DO learn from my mistakes. Most of the time.

34 weeks

Well, if it's not immediately obvious by this point, while I'm dedicated to taking a picture of myself at the appointed every-four-week time, I'm NOT dedicated to posting it here the same week.

FOR SHAME.

At any rate, I'm 35.5 weeks along now, so we have about a month left to go if Amelia goes full-term. I will go ahead and state for the record that I will be VERY surprised if I go past Sept. 20th (my due date is the 28th).

Exhibit A:

That baby is LOW, my friends, LOW. And also, my hair would appreciate it if I'd have the baby so it can get back to normal. What IS that thing on the left side of my head? No one knows.

When I went to the OB last time, I was down another two pounds, which puts me once again below my pre-pregnancy weight. (I'm sure that's immediately evident to all who see me. "HEY, THAT PREGNANT LADY IS SIMPLY TINY.") What I think is hilarious is that the shirts I'm wearing now are the same ones I was wearing in April. Granted, they're more snug now, but I haven't bought any new attire for work this entire pregnancy. So. There's that.

Thank God for small favors. He owes me.

And she will be named ...

You all -- along with our extended family and friends -- have been patiently waiting to hear, so I wanted to let you know that Grayson has, in his words, "given in."

YAY! I WIN!

In which I admit to pooping my pants at Walgreen's

So it's been a week since I told you the story about my hemmies.

And I had no idea at the time that so many people would e-mail me and say something to the effect of, "I HAVE to hear the story about pooping in Walgreen's." Seriously, people? As if I haven't already embarrassed myself enough?

Well, if you insist.

You will recall that when I left the surgeon's office last week, I was on my way to pick up my Lortab. They called the prescription in from their office and I headed straight to the Walgreen's close to our house to pick it up.

When I pulled up in the drive-through and gave my name, the pharmacist said, "Um, yeah, that's not ready yet. It's gonna be about 30 minutes." And I was not pleased. I asked, "It's not ready yet? How long did you say it would be?" And he said, "Well, they JUST called it in, so it's gonna be about 30 minutes. We're really slammed."

I considered going on home and coming back to pick it up later, but I really couldn't stand the thought of having to come back, especially if the pain hit before I could make it back to the store. Plus, I was supposed to go home and lie down for 24 hours, not drive around in my car.

Then I remembered that I had Nicholas' teacher's list of the additional few items we needed to supply for the first day of school in my work bag, so I decided to park, go in and buy those supplies since I had to wait anyway. (Not a minute goes to waste around here! Use the time wisely, I thought!)

Once I got inside, it was pretty quick work finding the six or seven items on the list, all except latex-free Band-Aids, but I finally found those, too.

It had only been about 15 minutes since I'd spoken to the pharmacist in the drive-through, but I thought if I went back to the pharmacy and stood there in all my 8-months-pregnant glory, holding a blue handbasket full of stuff, they might be inclined to fill my order more quickly. So to the back of the store I went.

I'd only been standing there for about a minute when I felt something weird on the inside of my thigh. And about the time I thought, "What the HECK?" ... I smelled it. OH, INTERNET. I knew immediately what had transpired.

I leaned around the three women in front of me to get the pharmacist's attention:

Me: "Excuse me, is there a restroom I can use?"

Young Male Pharmacist: "Uhhh ..."

Me: "IT'S AN EMERGENCY."

Young Male Pharmacist: "Yeah. It's around the corner on the back wall. Through that door."

I dropped that blue handbasket like it was full of explosives, sliding it over to the side wall, and I took off like a shot for the restroom. I could tell that the poop had dislodged the gauze that had been placed between my cheeks, and I was just praying that I didn't shake a now-bloody, poopy pile of gauze down my pants leg and into the multi-vitamin aisle as I ran.

I slammed into the restroom, where luckily I was the only occupant. I dove into the handicapped stall (I don't know that I've ever felt more handicapped IN ALL MY LIFE) and tore my pants down. OH, INTERNET. The carnage, it was epic.

Straight away, I had to take off my shoes, pants and undies. The undies were unsalvageable; I rolled them up, wrapped them in toilet paper and threw them in the sanitary napkin bin. (SURPRISE LATER, Janitor!) (SORRY!)

It took a while to clean myself up (and I'll spare you the details ... yes, you're so welcome), and then I stood there worrying over what to do with my pants. Ultimately, I knew I had to wash them out in the sink. I was willing to leave the store without underwear, but I knew going pantsless wasn't an option.

So there I stood, PRAYING TO MY LORD AND SAVIOR that no one else would come into the restroom, washing my pants out in the sink. I was wearing a maternity shirt that covered my belly, but it wasn't designed so much to cover parts below that. So I had my rear end sticking out, naked as the day I was born. Handwashing my stinky pants in the sink.

Have I ever felt so humbled? I THINK NOT.

After I got them as clean as possible, I blew them dry with the hand dryer, then redressed. I calmly walked out and retrieved my little blue handbasket, then went to the sanitary napkin aisle to grab a box. One quick trip back to the restroom told me that without any panties to grab onto, a maxipad was useless to me. Back out into the public realm I went.

I waddled on back to the pharmacy, where I just hoped and prayed no one's nose would wiggle like Samantha Stevens' and ask, "What's that smell?" God was on my side. No one said anything.

And before you ask, "Why in heaven's name didn't you just get in the car and GO HOME?" ... there were two reasons. One, I REALLY felt like I was going to need that medicine within about 20 minutes. And two, I was terrified to leave my current close proximity to a working restroom just yet. Read: I DID NOT WANT TO POOP MYSELF IN THE CAR.

So I stood in that line and I paid for that Lortab (and Clorox wipes and Kleenex and latex-free Band-Aids, et al), and when I finally felt comfortable enough to get in the car, I drove home. And laid on my side for about 24 solid hours.

And then I sat up and dashed off an e-mail to my surgeon's nurse about adding a little note to their post-op instructions. And then told myself that I was NEVER, EVER going to share this story with the Internet.

Uncomfortable truths, vol. 18

1. I bought a serving of banana pudding last week at lunch. I then promptly fished out all of the bananas before eating the pudding, Nilla Wafers and meringue. To my mind, I actually reduced the calories I took in by eliminating the bananas from the mix. Yeah, let’s go with that.

2. I kept smelling urine whenever I'd sit on the couch, but I knew I'd already cleaned up all of Jake's pee (he's potty training) that I knew about. I went around smelling all the cushions and found the culprit. As I was cleaning it up and muttering to myself about kids who pee on the couch, I remembered that I'd been reading Damn You Auto Correct in that spot not too long ago. Sometimes I laugh so hard when I read that website that ... well ... Huh.

3. It really irks me when other people's kids (who I don't know) glom onto me at the pool. It's perfectly fine with me if they want to play with my KIDS, but when they want me to throw the dive sticks for them, or they want to swim between my legs or really just want to TALK to me, I'm thinking, "Where are your parents? Why don't you go play with THEM?" Because quite frankly, having my own kids is quite enough, thanks.

4. The nursery is currently 5 percent complete. This is why I haven't shown you any pictures of it. But hopefully by Labor Day, it will be 90 percent complete. Fingers crossed, Internet, fingers crossed.

5. I wrote a post about my butthole.

Now accepting applications ...

I am now accepting applications

For people willing to check my boys' pockets

Before I throw their clothes in the washer.

Because the next time I pull $200 worth of DS games out of the dryer

I will officially go crazy.