Slices of Life, Vol. 39

Nick: "Do you like mashed potatoes?"

Me: "Yes."

Nick: "Nathaniel doesn't. He HATES them. One time he ate them and he said he almost B-A-R-F-T."

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Jake was sick recently and I picked up a peppermint milkshake for him to cheer him up. He'd never had one before, and I thought he'd like it.

Me: "Look! Isn't it pretty? It's pink."

Jake: "Pink is not my favorite color."

[As I was driving, he took several sips.]

Jake: "Mommy. By the time we get home, I THINK PINK IS GOING TO BE MY FAVORITE COLOR."

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When I went to load some new songs onto Nathaniel's iPod, the files wouldn't transfer. Investigation showed me that his iPod was already at capacity! How could that be? He'd only had it for two weeks. Almost all of the space was taken up by video. RAW VIDEO that he had recorded, not movie files.

Me: "Nathaniel. What in the world are all these videos? You have 22 files of videos that are 19 minutes long."

Nathaniel: "Oh. I wanted to be able to watch some shows on there, so I recorded some episodes of Johnny Test and Wizards of Waverly Place off the TV."

Me: "Like, while you were sitting here in the den?"

Nathaniel: "Yeah. I held the iPod up and recorded shows. SOMETIMES YOU RUINED THEM BY TALKING WHILE I WAS DOING IT."

Me: "Well, I'm sorry. I had no idea you were recording."

Nathaniel: "Uh huh. MY ARMS ARE EXHAUSTED."

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Recently Jake asked me to paint his toenails alternating one toe red, one toe purple. I did just as he asked. A few days later:

Jake: "Mommy, I want you to take duh colors off my toes."

Me: "Okay, why?"

Jake: "Because I can't chew my toenails when day have the colors on dem."

Me: "Jake, that's completely disgusting. You shouldn't be chewing your toenails anyway."

Jake: "It's not disgusting if I don't swallow dem."

Me: [GAG.]

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I went for a jog the other day, and when I got home, I realized that I needed to take the boys shoe shopping before the mall closed ... which only gave us half an hour. With no time to shower, we piled in the car and headed to the mall. While shopping:

Nick: "Mommy, did you take a shower after you exercised?"

Me: "No, I didn't have time. Can you tell?"

Nick: "Well, not really. You actually smell pretty good ... considering."

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Last weekend, Grayson said, "I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that I went to Disney with the older boys and a whole bunch of other people. It was a random bunch of people, and you, Jake and Amelia weren't there at all."

The boys overheard us.

Nathaniel: "That's funny. I had a weird dream last night, too. I dreamed that I went to school and I built a whole bunch of Lego stuff and didn't do any homework."

Nicholas: "ME, TOO! I dreamed that ...

Jake: "I HAD A DREAM ABOUT SANDWICHES."

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While Nick was home sick the other day, we were eating lunch when he came out with this:

Nick: "I wish I had black skin."

Me: "Why is that?"

Nick: "Because they're so appreciated. Like, everyone knows black people invented ironing boards, stoplights, sprinklers and elevators."

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Nathaniel: "Mommy. I'm learning how to do algebra!"

Me: "You are? That's exciting. What's it like?"

Nathaniel: "Like, twelve plus blank equals twenty-seven. Is that algebra?"

Me: "Well, I guess it's similar. Algebra is like X plus seven equals thirty, and you have to figure out what X is."

Nathaniel: "So, I'm doing KID ALGEBRA."

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I went for a run on Sunday, and when I got back, Grayson said he'd overheard the boys talking in the den.

Nathaniel: "I hate my life some."

Nick: "Why?"

Nathaniel: "Because I have to learn multiplication and division AT THE SAME TIME."

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While playing Wii tennis the other day, Jake hit an ace past the computer player across the net:

Jake: "WHO'S THE BOSS NOW?"

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I recently set up email capability on Nathaniel's and Nick's iPod Touches so they could email family members. They love it, and they sort of use it like texting. The other night as they were headed up to bed:

Nick: "Nathaniel, tell me more about how I can get to the next level on Wizards 101."

Nathaniel: "We don't have time right now, Nick. We have to go to bed."

Nick: "But I need to know before tomorrow!"

Nathaniel: [waves his hand dismissively]  "Just go in your room. I'll email you."