Uncomfortable truths, vol. 24

1. Nathaniel and Nick are always begging me to let them shop in the electronics section of Target while I go find socks or whatever I’m there for. They get frustrated when I won’t let them, so I showed them the video of the attempted kidnapping of a 9-year-old girl at Wal-Mart. Now they get it.

2. Now they're spending all their free time discussing ways to thwart would-be kidnappers. These conversations are usually quite grisly, but entertaining. They discuss everything from stabbing someone, to beating him with a stick, to kicking him "in his penis." All valid defenses, I suppose, depending on the weapons one has at hand.

3. I get just as irritated when I log into Words with Friends and I have no turns to play as I do when I log in and I have 19 turns to play. Why can’t it ever be a nice, manageable number like six?

4. Last week I Tweeted something like, "Every time I scan news headlines and see 'download,' 'downtown,' or 'Down syndrome,' I stop to read it more closely, thinking it's about Downton. Then it's not." This is so true. I'm obsessed. I even up a Google Alert for "Downton Abbey." Don't want to miss any news about it, you know.

5. When I jog in the evenings, I've noticed that my left ear apparently sweats a lot more than my right. I say this because my left ear bud pops out about 20 times during any given jog, while the right one stays in almost the whole time. Either way, this whole conversation is gross. My apologies.