How to load a dishwasher: A tutorial you didn't even know you needed

It's kind of a joke around our house that I have to load the dishwasher "my way" or I'm not happy.

When we have houseguests, a lot of times they want to be helpful and load the dishwasher. Grayson always explains, "That's not helpful. She's just going to go behind you and do it again."

True dat.

I didn't realize that there was even a need for a post like this until a short time ago. But I have definitely noticed as I've watched people load their own dishwashers that A LOT OF YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

And by "doing it wrong," I mean "not doing it my way." Which I am in no way implying is the way that the manufacturers recommend that you load a dishwasher, because I've never read the user's guide. I just go with my gut. So because I love you, I present:

The Problem

I've noticed that a lot of people load the top rack of the dishwasher with each cup or glass hung over two spindles. Like so:

In a word: NO.

[Please enjoy how none of my glassware matches. I have lovely matching glassware, but none of it was in need of washing at the time I decided to write this post. Please endure.]

This type of placement leaves your glasses loosey-goosey, and they can bump into each other and break. But more importantly, you're robbing yourself of an entire row of usable space.

The Solution

The BEST way to place your glassware on the top rack is over only ONE spindle.

It's a much more efficient use of space.

I will say this: your glasses will end up closer together, so I try to either put a plastic cup in between glasses, or to place the glasses an additional spindle apart. (You'll still gain space; trust me. I'm not a professional.)

In the photo below, the glasses on the left side are placed over one spindle, the glasses on the right over two.

On the left side, you have room for a regular cereal bowl or two plastic kids' bowls. Additionally, the glasses on the left will stay firmly in place, while the ones on the right will shift around wildly. WILDLY, I say.

Once I rearrange them all to one spindle, there's room for three regular cereal bowls on the top rack.

Are you still here?

Where else on the Internet can you go to read about hemorrhoids and dishwasher-loading all in one place? I'm the 7-11 of the Internet. Or something.

Okay, last point: I thought for a long time that the top rack was the only issue. But then I realized that people really don't have so much of a system for the bottom rack, either.

Here's my system: similar things are grouped together, but not nested. That goes for dishes as well as silverware. It makes it simple to unload but still ensures that everything gets clean.

I'm a silverware-points-down girl, because I don't like being poked when I stick my hands in the basket to unload. I also don't like to run the risk of my children's fingers being sliced off by the blade of a Cutco knife. But you can point yours to the sky if you want to ... the main thing is not to put all your spoons or forks in one compartment, because they'll nest and won't get clean.

Anyone disagree with any of this? Anyone have any better tips? Anyone never give a moment's thought to how to best load the dishwasher, ever?

(I CANNOT CONCEIVE OF THAT.)