1.
There is a serious preponderance of cameltoe at the
London 2012 Games. A SERIOUS PREPONDERANCE, INTERNET. I notice it most on the divers. WAZZUP, LADYBITS? I CAN SEE YOU FROM THE NOSEBLEED
SEATS.
2.
And not only is there cameltoe, but there’s also …
I don’t know what the proper terminology is. It is the result of the men’s
shorts not actually being SHORTS, and instead more like a second skin. Rhino
Toe? I don’t know.
But U.S. rower Henrik Rummel in particular has
garnered a lot of attention this week for his Rhino Toe, captured on film at
his medal ceremony.
3.
On the other hand, I have a case of non-wedgie envy
when it comes to the gymnasts. What are they using to keep those leos out of
their butts while they’re flying to and fro across the floor mat or
basically BEGGING the balance beam to give them a wedgie? For cripes’s
sake. I get a wedgie just walking to the mailbox. WHAT’S YOUR SECRET, WIEBER?
4.
Speaking of the gymnasts. Why do they all hug each
other like they have somewhere to be 10 minutes ago? They come off the floor, weakly
put their arms around another girl’s barrel chest for approximately two
seconds, all the while uncomfortably cutting their eyes far to the left like a
panicked toy poodle who’s about to get put in the bathtub, and then they
dash off hurriedly.
... only to stop two feet away and fiddle with their gym bag or
look at the scoreboard for an uncomfortably long time. I say, they forego hugs
in Rio 2016 and just convert to high fives. We’ll all sleep better at
night.
5.
This one isn’t my own uncomfortable truth, but
Grayson’s. We were watching the women's swimming events the other night when he
asked thoughtfully, “Does swimming make you ugly?” My answer was, "Lochte isn't ugly."
1 comment:
I love your blog for the simple fact that I never know what I am going to get. And that you say things that EVERYONE else is thinking, just a little too afraid to say.
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