Uncomfortable truths, vol. 35

1. My phone tried to correct "Lord" to "Lird" recently. I wonder if it knows I'm Southern. "LIRD HAVE MERCY."

2. I want to kick the ATM in my building because it spits the cash out with the denominations facing different directions. UNACCEPTABLE.

3. When I doodle little 3-D cubes while I'm on a conference call, I feel like an architect. A very successful architect.

4. Related: When I draw something on the iPad and Nick says, "That's sooooo good, Mommy!" I feel like a million bucks. He is 7. Clearly it's easy to validate me.

5. I have this exact phone conversation at least once a week:

Me: “I didn’t realize my phone had dropped the call. What was the last thing you heard?”

Her: “The part about the fabric for the kitchen curtains.”

Me: “OH GOSH. I told two whole stories after that.”