The most amazing 'first' of all time

The photos in this post are the result of a dramatic reenactment. If these photos had been taken at the time of the actual event (20 minutes earlier), the part of the Cat Turd would have been played by an Actual Cat Turd -- not a Miniature Twix Bar.


Last night when we returned from Jake's last soccer game and team party, I needed to run upstairs to use the facilities. (TMI, I know. But I feel like it's relevant to this particular story.)

As is not unusual, once I was in the restroom, I heard Amelia's little feet padding across the bedroom carpet, not far behind.

But then (and at this point it's important that you understand that for about nine reasons, Scout's litterbox is located in a corner of our master bathroom) ...

Amelia: "Mommy! Scoutie pooped!"

Me: "He did?"

Amelia: "Yep. On deh flo'."

Me: "Uh oh. Is Scoutie a bad kitty?"

[Amelia pokes her head around the corner of the water closet to look me squarely in the eyes]

Amelia: "NO. SCOUTIE IS GOOD KITTY."

Then she turned around and left the bathroom, and I heard her little feet padding off in the other direction. I assumed she'd gone back downstairs to hang out with the boys. But about 15 seconds later, I heard her coming back. Then, briefly, silence. THEN ...

She walked around the corner of the water closet, holding a baby wipe in her hand WITH WHICH SHE HAD PICKED UP THE CAT TURD FROM THE CARPET.

Amelia: "He-ah, Mommy. I keened it up!"

Internet, this was a real crossroads in my life. I was simultaneously the most horrified and the most proud I have EVER been of this child. Horrified because CAT TURD IN HER HAND. Incredibly proud because she had the presence of mind to go all the way to her bedroom, pull a baby wipe out of the container, come back and carefully scoop the dingleberry up off the carpet while protecting her sweet little hand, and hand the bundle over to me. AT 2 YEARS OLD.

Also: the Mommy side of my brain was screaming, "Get the cat turd out of her hand immediately!" But the Blogger side of my brain was screaming, "Grab your camera!"

You will all be SHOCKED but pleased to know that the Mommy side of my brain won out this time. I know you can't even believe it.

Hence, the reenactment:

Also, if there is any question at all, I told her that she is NEVER to clean up cat poop in the future, even if it is to protect Scout's reputation. That is -- sadly -- Mommy's job.