I'm much more forgiving about TV shows -- not that I'm willing to waste time on TV, but I find that I'm not as disappointed by spending 30 minutes watching a sitcom that makes me laugh twice as I am by a two-hour movie comedy that makes me laugh twice. Also, I can make the choice not to ever watch that sitcom again, but all I can do about the movie is choose not to watch a potential sequel. NOT MUCH REVENGE THERE.

But these days, I have help with movies. My personal film critics preview most movies for me and then tell me if I'll like them: my friends Jamie and Melanie. They are excellent barometers. Basically, they apply my Foolproof Movie Recommendation Formula, which I've developed subconsciously over time and has greatly enhanced my odds of enjoying a movie.

Today, I share it with you, Internet.

Start at 50.  

Was an animal abused, attacked or killed/died? If no, add 10 points. If yes, subtract 25 points.

Was a child abused, attacked or killed/died? If no, add 5 points. If yes, subtract 20 points.

Was there any element of racism? If no, add 20 points. If yes, subtract 40 points.

Did one or more character speak with a British accent? If no, subtract 15 points. If yes, add 15 points.

Did one or more British actors speak with an American accent WHAT A WASTE? If no, add 5 points. If yes, subtract 20 points.

Was Matt Damon in it? If no, subtract 5 points. If yes, add 10 points.

Was Jennifer Garner in it? If no, subtract 5 points. If yes, add 10 points.

Was Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum or a Hemsworth in it? If no, subtract 5 points. If yes, add 20 points.

Was Jennifer Tilly or Steve Buscemi in it? If no, add 5 points. If yes, subtract 30 points.

Did it feature an inspirational sports theme? If no, write a letter of protest. If yes, add 50 points.

Is it a Pixar film? If no, subtract 5 points. If yes, add 20 points. 

Did it take place prior to 1950? If no, add 20 points. If yes, subtract 20 points. 

Was the entire movie a long series of unfortunate or depressing events? If no, add 10 points. If yes, subtract 70 points.

Was much of the plot predicated on ridiculous, easily avoided conflict or miscommunication between the love interests? If no, add 20 points. If yes, subtract 40 points.

Did Aaron Sorkin write the script? If no, subtract 5 points. If yes, add 40 points.

Was the ending happy? If no, subtract 35 points. If yes, add 35 points.

WAS THERE A "SIX MONTHS LATER" EPILOGUE? If no, subtract 5 points. If yes, add 30 points.


 Using my Foolproof Movie Recommendation Formula, the following movies would have received:

Inside Out - 125*

Titanic - 95

Sense & Sensibility - 65**
 
Ex Machina - 20
 
Notting Hill - 200***

Guardians of the Galaxy - 145
 
Pretty Woman -140

The Spy -155

Eight Below - 50
 
Wild - 60
 
Rudy - 190
 
The Patriot - I've never seen it, but I hate it. Please listen to this week's Bonus Episode of The Popcast for more information on My Superpower and how this works.

Apply my formula to the movie of your choice and see how it comes out. Did the results surprise you or confirm your own opinion of it? Let me know!
*Inside Out would have scored a mere 25 if I'd chosen to stipulate that the entire movie was "a long series of unfortunate or depressing events." Which it kind of was. But not really in the traditional sense, so I'm giving it a pass on that one. The fact that all four of our kids loved it has a lot of bearing on which way I let that one go.

**Sense & Sensibility is one of my favorite films of all time. Lost major points for how much of it was predicated on the "miscommunication between the love interests." Good thing I didn't know Jamie and Melanie when this came out.

***I may have to watch Notting Hill again, since I only saw it once when it was released and it scored so high on my Foolproof scale. WHO KNOWS WHAT I MIGHT BE MISSING?