What kind of idiot goes to Costco three days before Christmas?

THIS KIND OF IDIOT.

If you think MALL traffic is bad the week of Christmas, you should try going to COSTCO the week of Christmas.

I MEAN.

THE CHAOS.

I didn't bring this upon myself intentionally. I was picking something up for a friend.

Who shall now and forevermore be referred to as a "friend," SUSIE.

There were policemen directing traffic at the intersection leading UP to Costco. There were policemen directing traffic at the entrance TO Costco.

There were a FEW cars entering and exiting the parking lot.

Astoundingly, I found a spot fairly close to the entrance, which was fantastic because I was only going to the Photo Center at the front of the store and I would have rather PLUCKED MY EYEBALLS OUT WITH A FORK than gone any farther than that.

Getting back out of the parking lot was no better than coming in, unfortunately.

Did I mention that it was raining.

I wish I'd thought to count how many honks I heard from start to finish. Because road rage in Hoover in December? It's a real thing.

Very grateful to the HPD for standing out in the rain, wrangling all the crazy drivers and keeping all the REASONABLE PEOPLE LIKE ME safe.

My official Christmas wish for you is that you get to stay far, far away from all retail outlets until February 1, at a minimum.